How To Discipline Your Children Gently Instead Of Punishing Them

Perhaps “How to discipline children?” is one of the most important questions that arise in each family. Of course, some parents treat the baby like “royalty,” letting a little one do whatever its heart desires. These children do not even know what “punishment” means.

discipline children

Some parents reject the idea of punishment because they are afraid of causing their child a “psychological trauma”, but this article provides some insight on positive child discipline methods.

Remember that “punishment” does not imply pain, hurt, and humiliation. Punishment is rather a restriction or a limitation. In fact, the benefit of child discipline is that it shows the boundaries, the norms, which will help a kid become a decent and respectable person!


As a rule, physical punishment is used because of the feeling of helplessness. Pain can make them do your bidding, but it will never have a positive influence on a child’s development. It will lead to hatred, aggression, and trouble communicating.

You cannot hurt a child because you distort the image of the world for them. In other words, the child that is brought up with the idea that “the strongest is the winner” will see the world through this prism. If a kid is 5 years of age and older, you can ask for forgiveness, but it can be only a one-time thing. You cannot beat a kid up and say, “I’m sorry” each time, hoping that this will save the situation!

Child abuse

Learn how to control yourself and use other ways of punishment!

With children up to 2 years old, actually, no punishment works. They are too small for this. Therefore, all you can do is to distract them and be patient, that’s how you practice positive discipline for toddlers.

If a baby is 2 years old, you can insert punishments because the baby can already understand it. Therefore, it will have a certain value and influence. What are your options?

1) Ignoring

Very efficient. Do not pay attention; leave your child alone for some time, so it could calm down on its own. It is important to give them a chance to calm themselves down without anyone’s help.

2) “Timeout” your baby

Like a coach, you can send a kid to cool down on a couch or on a chair. Initially, this pause does not have to last longer than 5 minutes. During these 5 minutes, do not react to a kid.

Timeout, discipline children

3) Take away toys and cartoons

It works, but remember, that punishment must commensurate with the action. You cannot take away its toys each time it does something insignificant.

Do not yell and cause drama in public if a child is naughty. Take a kid by the hand and take it to the side, where you can look it in the eye and talk calmly and firmly. It is much better than causing a scene in front of everyone, and truth be told, more efficient.

Give a kid some time to correct its behavior before punishing it. For instance, you can count to 3. At first, you will have to keep your promise and punish a kid. However, afterward, it will not be given a count to 3 to stop the behavior.

Be confident. The kid must understand that it is not in its best interest to let you count to 3. Besides, you should know beforehand what the punishment would be in case you count till the end. You do not want a kid to think that your words are an empty sound, do you?

You need to see this through. Even if a child tears up and gets disappointed, there is no going back for you. You need to finish what you have started. Do not lose focus if you hear that your child promises not to love you anymore.

You will see that after 2-3 times using this technique. A kid will not let you finish the counting! However, remember that you can use this technique only when softer ways of solving the matter do not work.

Child crying

Imagine that you have asked a child to clean up its toys. Instead, it does not react and continues to watch cartoons. The same happens after your threat to take away cartoons for a week. You can start counting, calmly, and evenly. Continue if the child does not react. If you have reached 3, you can turn off the TV. Now it does not actually matter who cleans the mess, because the fact remains – no cartoons for a week.

No matter how obedient the child is now and how loud the cries are, show that you were not bluffing and that the little one has to listen to you. Also, remember that the punishment must be executed right after the child’s misbehavior.

You have to learn how to talk to your kid. The thing is that honesty is powerful, especially when the words are sincere. Explain to a child where it was wrong. Try talking to a kid as if you are talking with an adult person. This trick helps to show the child that parents trust a little one and that they rely on it. Therefore, a kid feels responsibility and takes things more seriously.

father child talking, discipline children

The child must understand that each action and each talk have consequences. This life lesson will help a kid to adapt to society. By understanding that all (good and bad) actions have consequences, the child will give more thought to what it does and says. Bad actions and misbehavior lead to punishment. Good actions lead to forgiveness and understanding.

“Timeout” punishment – how to use? Is it really useful to discipline children?

“Timeout” has proven to be quite useful over the years, in fact, it is one of the best methods of disciplining children. “Timeout” is the temporary isolation of a child. The main point is that you sit a kid on a chair/sofa/ or send it to its room, and no one talks to a child (scolding and yelling included).

Usually, this isolation lasts from 2-3 to 10 minutes or even more. Most of the time, the number of minutes equals the child’s age, but parents can set any time limit they think is reasonable. The aim is to give a child enough time to cool down, deal with its anger, and to understand that it answers to you.

Here are some rules when using this method:

Be consistent. Very often, children try to “escape” punishment by crying and yelling, but stay calm and sit the child back until the timeout is over. A kid must see that your decision is adamantly strong and that its tantrums are powerless against you.

If needed, you can send the child into timeout once more. Parents should understand that such isolation is not a way of scaring a child. It is a way of returning a little one to what is normal and acceptable. Also, it will help you keep yourself at bay.

Talking to kid as an adult, discipline children

Always say what you want from a child. If a kid ignores you, warn it about the punishment, and ONLY if it keeps ignoring you can you start counting. Never send a kid into “timeout” without a previous warning. After this, you can isolate a kid.

You can start using this method when a child is 2 and older. If you have decided to apply this method to a younger baby, then it is best if you show the whole process using toys.
Note that in “timeout,” a child can have some toys or a book, but there is no way that it can have any gadgets or cartoons.

The “Timeout” method has proven to be very effective all over the globe. Remember that it has to be applied only when it is needed and for the right cause. When you start applying it all the time for no valid reason, “timeout” will lose its sense of power.


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