109 Funny Pregnancy Quotes: From Bumps And Cravings To Laughter And Love

Bringing a new life into the world is undoubtedly a miraculous and awe-inspiring journey, but let’s be honest – it’s also a whirlwind of unexpected moments, hilarious anecdotes, and a rollercoaster of emotions. 

Funny Pregnancy Quotes

In the world of pregnancy, laughter is often the best medicine, and that’s why we’ve gathered this collection of ‘Funny Pregnancy Quotes‘ for all the moms-to-be and parents who’ve ever experienced the quirky, comical, and sometimes downright absurd aspects of pregnancy. 

These quotes will not only tickle your funny bone but also remind you that amidst the morning sickness, growing baby bumps, and late-night cravings, there’s a whole lot of joy to be found in the journey to parenthood

So, sit back, relax, and get ready to share a laugh or two as we explore the humorous side of pregnancy.

Funny Pregnancy Quotes To Remember

The first subsection in our collection, ‘Funny Pregnancy Quotes To Remember,’ is a delightful compilation of witty, relatable, and downright amusing quotes that capture the essence of those unforgettable moments during pregnancy. 

From the quirky cravings to the ever-expanding baby bump, these quotes will not only make you smile but also serve as a reminder that you’re not alone in your hilarious adventures. 

So, let’s dive in and celebrate the lighter side of pregnancy with these memorable quotes that will have you nodding in agreement and laughing out loud. 

1. “Life is two-riffic with twins.” ― Author unknown

2. “Can it be that the Greek grammarians invented their dual number for the particular benefit of twins?” ― Herman Melville

3. “Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” ― Elizabeth Stone

4. “There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins.” ― Josh Billings

5. “Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.” ― Marshall McLuhan

6. “Being pregnant has made me realize it takes talent not to pee yourself when you sneeze.”

7. “Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really.” – Dave Barry

cute prenancy quotes

8. “Pregnancy is nine months of cheat days.”

9. “Ask me the gender and due date one more time.”

10. My everyday meals include breakfast, brunch, lunch, pre-dinner, dinner, pre-dessert, dessert, dessert#2 and a post-dinner snack.”

11. “Prenatal yoga focuses on breathing and stretching. So does napping.”

12. “I haven’t had alcohol for months. This is not a pregnancy glow. This is a detox glow.”

13. “‘Pregnancy brain’ is my excuse for everything I don’ want to do.”

14. “I know my baby is going to be an over achiever. I reached my healthy weight gain limit in the first trimester.”

15. “Maternity clothes are regular clothes with a 200% mark up.”

16. “Being pregnant during winter is like getting your hair done and then wearing a hat.”

17. “A baby shower is the last time the world will celebrate you.”

18. “I am pregnant which means I am sober, swollen and hungry. Approach with caution.”

19. “The ‘What fruit does your baby look like this week’ is both cute and creepy.”

20. “Exercising while pregnant is like eating kale on your cheat day.”

21. “The hospital tour is an opportunity to scope out all the couples you will be competing with for the private room.”

22. “Don’t ask me why I am crying because I don’t know.”

RELATED: 27 Best Inspirational Pregnancy Quotes

23. “The only productive part of me today has been my bladder.”

24. “My baby’s body fat is 2 to 3% this week. I am so jealous.” – P!nk

25. “My wife just let me know I’m about to become a father for the first time. The bad news is that we already have two kids.” – Brian Kiley

26. “When your wife is pregnant, don’t eat the last, ANYTHING.”

27. “I would love to do whatever I want, whenever I want. But, I am not a Dad.”

28. “My wife is in that stage of pregnancy where people are not sure whether to congratulate her or buy her a gym membership.”

29. “It’s a great thing about being pregnant – you don’t need excuses to pee or to eat.” ― Angelina Jolie

30. “Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.” ― Erma Bombeck

31 “Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.” ― Bill Cosby

32. “There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it” – Chinese proverb

Cute & Funny Pregnancy Quotes

As we continue our journey through the lighter side of pregnancy, our next stop brings us to the heartwarming and humorous world of ‘Cute & Funny Pregnancy Quotes.’ 

Just like the first section, these quotes are a reminder that amidst the unforgettable moments and occasional chaos of pregnancy, there’s a beautiful blend of adorable and hilarious waiting to be discovered. 

These quotes capture the essence of the journey in a way that’s not only relatable but also endearing. 

From the tiny, fluttering kicks that melt your heart to the comical tales of late-night snack cravings, these quotes offer a personal touch to our shared experiences as parents-to-be. 

So, let’s dive into this collection together, where cuteness and humor intertwine seamlessly, bringing smiles and laughter to your pregnancy memories.

33. “We’ve decided that we no longer want to sleep, have time to ourselves or have a clean house.”

34. “Our secret is in the sauce (with a picture of a jar of Prego spaghetti sauce).”

35. ““Mom and Dad are getting us a human!” (with a picture of your fur baby for a first child announcement).”

36. “This is one doodle that can’t be undid, homeskillet!- a quote from the movie Juno”

37. “We’re going to need a bigger boat” – a quote from Jaws”

38. “Say hello to my little friend” – quote from Scarface”

39. “Best oops ever (with a picture of baby things).”

40. “It was all fun and games until I got pregnant.”

41. “Pretty soon, we’ll need a minivan…”

42. “We’re adding another to our clan!”

43. “The battle for mommy’s attention begins (birth month and year). (Perfect for a big siblings photo!)”

RELATED: How To Find The Right Breastfeeding Friendly Pediatrician for You!

Funny Pregnancy Riddles

As we venture further into our exploration of pregnancy’s lighthearted side, we’re about to unlock the playful and puzzling world of ‘Funny Pregnancy Riddles.’ 

Much like the previous sections, these riddles add a twist of humor to the beautiful journey of expecting a child

Pregnancy often feels like a delightful puzzle, filled with surprises and amusing moments, and these riddles are here to celebrate that spirit. 

They’ll tickle your intellect, bring a smile to your face, and maybe even leave you pondering as you navigate the ups and downs of pregnancy. 

So, let’s embark on this intriguing adventure together, where riddles add a dash of humor to the magical journey of parenthood.

This preface maintains the flow from the previous sections and introduces the concept of pregnancy riddles in a playful manner. 

If you have more subsections or need prefaces for them, or if you have any other specific requests, please feel free to let me know!

44. “What is tiny, causing me lots of grief, and will make its appearance in (birth month)?”

45. “What do a chef who’s baking a dinner roll and I have in common?”

46. “We are pleased to announce that due to hard work and a good attitude we will be promoting our youngest son to big brother.”

47. “I’m patiently waiting on the day my back hurts, my feet are swollen, and i walk like a duck.”

48. “I’m giving up things like lunch meat, caffeine, sushi and alcohol for 9 months.”

49. “I’m small but very important. I’m free to make but expensive to maintain. I’m noticeable but you cannot see me. What am I?”

50. “What gets a shower but doesn’t get wet?”

51. “I can bring a smile to your face, A tear to your eye, Or even a thought to your mind.”

Hilarious Quotes About Pregnancy

As our journey through the lighter side of pregnancy unfolds, we arrive at a section that promises a hearty dose of laughter and amusement: ‘Hilarious Quotes About Pregnancy.’ 

Just like the previous sections, this one keeps the humor front and center, offering a collection of quotes that are bound to make you chuckle, giggle, and perhaps even laugh out loud. 

Pregnancy is a journey filled with unpredictability and unexpected moments, and these quotes capture the hilarity that often accompanies the miraculous process of bringing new life into the world. 

So, let’s dive into this side-splitting selection together, where laughter becomes the perfect companion for every parent-to-be.

52. “Get comfortable. Have to pee. Get really thirsty after you pee. Drink an entire cup of water. Get comfortable. Have to pee Again. I give up!”

53. “Yes. I’m clearly pregnant. But if you remind me once more of how huge I’ve gotten…I’m going to eat you”

54. “Being pregnant has made me realize it takes talent not to pee yourself when you sneeze”

55. “I’ve reached that point in my pregnancy were I no longer want to wear pants”

56. “Everybody leave me alone. I’ve had a busy day being pregnant and need to do it again tomorrow”

57. “That awkward phase in pregnancy when people can’t tell if you’re pregnant or just fat”

58. “You know you’re in your third trimester when you drop something on the floor and walk away muttering “f*** it!” (via. Rottenecards)

59. “Can’t eat because of nausea. Nauseus because I can’t eat…Well played, pregnancy.Well played” (via.babybumpapp)

60. “Ask me the gender and due date one more time”

61. “I am so ready to have this baby”

62. “When I found out I was pregnant, I was overcome with pure happiness. No period for 9 months- That’s a reason to celebrate” (via mommiepoppins)

63. “Don’t ask me why I’m crying because I don’t know”

64. “I do not waddle, it’s called pregnancy swag”

cute pregnancy quotes

65. “I’m sorry my pregnancy hormones verbally abused you, go get me ice cream?

Funny Quotes Mom Will Understand

As we navigate through the humorous dimensions of pregnancy, our next destination is a spot-on collection that’s sure to resonate with moms-to-be: ‘Funny Quotes Mom Will Understand.’ 

Just like the previous sections, these quotes bring laughter to the forefront, offering insights and chuckles that only fellow moms can truly appreciate. 

Parenthood is a wild ride filled with unforgettable moments, and these quotes capture the universal humor found in sleepless nights, diaper changes, and the endless joys and challenges of raising little ones. 

So, let’s dive into this relatable compilation together, where the shared experiences of motherhood bring us closer through laughter and understanding.

RELATED: Being Pregnant Quotes and Sayings for Expectant Moms

66. “Everybody leave me alone. I’ve had a busy day being pregnant and I have to do it again tomorrow.”

67. “There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it” -Chinese Proverb

68. “I was told… there would be glowing”

69. Even though you can’t keep a plant alive, I think you’re going to be a great parent.

70. “Yes I’m positive there’s just one baby in there. Can I throat punch you now?”

71. “The responsible woman in me is budgeting for groceries. The pregnant woman is going “Oooo! Chocolate Cake!”

72. “Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes”

73. “To pee or not to pee? That is never the question. Pee.”

74. “You know your pregnant… When your in the kitchen cooking, drop something and stand there thinking “Do I really need that?”

75. “I’m pregnant not furry Don’t pet me!”

76. “Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.” – Rita Rudner

77. “Love is all fun and games until someone loses an eye or gets pregnant.”

78. “I’ve been to war. I’ve raised twins. If I had a choice, I would rather go to war.” -George W. Bush

79. “Sneezing for a pregnant chick is like playing Russian roulette; you never know when something’s gonna come out.”

80. “Wishing I could sleep, but someone is using my stomach for their own personal bounce house!”

81. “My clothes are getting tighter already. Congratulate me for the biggest achievement of my life. I’m going to be a mother soon!”

82. “Pregnancy used to be a beautiful thing. Now it’s like, ”She Pregnant Too?” ”Oh””

83. “Congratulations for getting pregnant. Enjoy the luxury of getting your husband’s attention every time you make even a small sound – whether it is a painful moan or a smelly fart.”

RELATED: Experience The Care You Deserve With A Birth Plan

Hilarious Pregnancy Craving Quote

As we delve deeper into the world of pregnancy, we’re about to explore a subsection that gives a humorous twist to one of the quirkiest aspects of expecting a baby: ‘Hilarious Pregnancy Craving Quotes.’

Just like the previous sections, these quotes keep the laughter rolling, shedding light on the often-bizarre and unpredictable cravings that moms-to-be experience

Pregnancy cravings are legendary for their uniqueness, and these quotes celebrate the culinary adventures that accompany this journey. 

From pickles and ice cream to cravings you couldn’t even imagine, these quotes offer a taste of the comical side of pregnancy. 

So, let’s dig into this appetizing assortment together, where laughter is the secret ingredient to savoring those unusual hankerings.

84. “I am pregnant. This morning I told my husband to put the Oreos somewhere I couldn’t reach them … he put them on the floor” – Unknown

85. “The first time someone asked me if I was pregnant, I was eating friend cheese at the Summit Country Fair” – Olive B. Persimmon

86. “When topping my pasta with parmesan, the waitress was like “Say when!”. But I never say when. She keeps going. The room fills with cheese. There are no survivors. #pregnancy problems” – Pregnancy Problems (@ThePreggoProbs)

87. “Can’t get out of bed! Send help or waffles. Just send waffles“ – Unknown

88. “You know you are pregnant when … you order a pizza and end up eating the entire thing” – Unknown

89. “Not sure if I need a month of sleep, a week off from work, a vacation and an unlimited amount of chocolate. Wait, I am pregnant, I need them all” – Unknown

90. “By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant” – Phyllis Diller

91. “I had no food cravings other than wanting food constantly“ – Billie Piper

funny pregnancy quotes

92. “Pregnancy can be a time when you take tremendous pleasure in eating, not only because you may enjoy food more but also because you know that it is nourishing both you and your baby” – Martha Rose and Jane L. Davis

93. “Growing a baby makes me feel like a Superhero. A really tired, weak superhero who wants to eat all the time and isn’t allowed to lift heavy objects” – Unknown

94. “When your wife is pregnant don’t eat the last ANYTHING” – Unknown

95. “Everyone knows food is important to pregnant women. But what the uninitiated might not realize is that time is of the essence. The bottom line is, when she says she’s hungry, she means it. Feed that woman immediately or she will eat your f***ing face” – Aaron Gouveia

96. “I wish I were pregnant so I could continue eating for two” – Unknown

97. “When I am not sleeping, I can’t wait to eat, and when I am not eating, I can’t wait to sleep. Pregnant life” – Unknown

98. “The baby made me eat it” – Unknown

99. “If you eat a pregnant girls food, you are required to have the baby for her” – Unknown

100. “It’s a great thing about being pregnant – you don’t need excuses to pee or to eat” – Angelina Jolie

Hilarious Quotes About Struggle

As we approach the final stretch of our exploration into the humorous aspects of pregnancy, our last stop invites you to share a laugh over the candid and amusing insights into the challenges of expecting: ‘Hilarious Quotes About Struggle.’ 

Similar to the previous sections, these quotes blend humor with the inevitable obstacles that come with pregnancy. 

From wrestling with maternity clothing that seems like a puzzle to mastering the art of graceful waddling, these quotes capture the comedic side of the daily hiccups experienced by moms-to-be. 

Pregnancy may come with its fair share of difficulties, but these quotes remind us that laughter is the best remedy for the bumps and quirks along the way.

101. “Pregnancy is 9 months of cheat days.” (HALLELUJAH)

102. “My baby’s body fat is 2 to 3% this week. I’m so jealous,” -P!nk

103. “As if the airport isn’t anxiety-inducing enough”

104. “There’s a whole birthing plan, but what is the plan other than to get it out? I mean, there isn’t an option to kind of keep it in, is there? So I’m assuming my plan is to get it out. But apparently, there’s more to the plan than that. I don’t know what that is,” -Keira Knightley

105. “The first trimester can be difficult.”

106. “Peeing on a stick and preserving thatStick is the start to all the horrible things you do will do as a mother.”

107. “Belly rubs; $5.00”

108. “You know you’re getting old when your friends start having kids on purpose.”

109. If you didn’t know, you’re allowed to eat as much as you want. “My daily meals include breakfast, lunch, pre-dinner, dinner, pre-dessert, dessert, dessert #2, & a post-dinner snack”

Frequently Asked Questions

Are these quotes suitable for everyone, or just expectant mothers?

While these quotes are often written from the perspective of expectant mothers, they can be enjoyed by anyone who appreciates humor and wants to understand or support pregnant individuals.

Do you have quotes for each stage of pregnancy?

Yes, our blog features funny pregnancy quotes for various stages of pregnancy, from the early weeks to the third trimester. You’ll find quotes that capture different moments and emotions throughout the journey.

Are these quotes safe to share with everyone, or are they risqué?

Our blog focuses on humor that is light-hearted and family-friendly. We avoid content that is overly explicit or inappropriate for all audiences.

Continue Reading 👉 : ​​Being Pregnant Quotes and Sayings for Expectant Moms


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