Very often, when a mother wants to leave a child with a relative or a nanny, a little one starts to cry and does not let her go. Some mothers manage to sneak out while a kid does not see her. If you don’t focus on teaching your kids about personal space it can develop into a serious issue of jealous kids.
There are cases when children do not leave their mothers alone, even at home. Whether she goes to another room or the bathroom, a little one is always near and wants its mom. Why is this happening and how to deal with this situation?
What should you say to a child when you are leaving home?
There is no use explaining to a child that the mother is going to work. It is even more useless trying to give a little one a timeframe of how long she will be absent; this understanding isn’t in the child’s nature yet.
There is only one thing that a kid understands, and it is the fact that mommy leaves to some mysterious place and comes back who-knows-when. In this case, the only experience will help you. With time, a child will understand that each parting will lead to a new meeting with their mother.
This situation is extremely painful for children, who up to the age of 3 have been 24/7 with their mother. If the first few times of mothers’ absence are for a relatively long period of time, a child will get even more startled, and it will follow her everywhere at home. That’s why teaching your kids about personal space is important.
How to ease separation for both mother and child?
- Play “Hide and Seek.” It will help a child to get used to not seeing their mother for short periods;
- Start leaving a child with someone for a few minutes (while you are going shopping or taking out the trash, etc.) and gradually start doing this more often;
- Don’t leave in secret! Say goodbye to a child, while being calm and confident. If you have any negative emotions or you feel sad, keep it in until you are on the other side of the door. Remember, that children feel it when you are sad or worried.
- If you have an opportunity to show a child where you are going, do it! (for instance, to a shop somewhere in the neighborhood);
- Gradually prolong the time you are away as you understand the child’s nature;
- Leave a child only with reliable people, who both you and a kid know well;
- It is worth specifying the time you will be coming back. For example, “I’ll be back as soon as you’re awake from your nap.” There is no use to explain time in hours because these figures mean nothing literally to them.
Very often ignoring personal space leads to jealous kids (usually around 2 years old). They get jealous of their mother each time they see anyone (even father), who potentially can capture her attention. That is why they start pushing this person away from their mother, take her by the hand, and drag her to another room or simply cuddle in her lap. These (and even more) tricks are used to focus the mother’s attention entirely on a little one.
- Positive Parenting Guide: Things You Should Encourage Your Children to Do
- Things you should avoid: What Parents Should Not Do to Their Children
- Tackle behavioral issues in children: Handle Aggression in Children
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