Children are pure and innocent; they know nothing about life. Their minds and hearts are a blank sheet of paper. You write down the information they will need to live in this world as decent and loving people. As a parent, you want to give your child everything and give in to whatever they want but it’s not right. Read my tips on how to say no to your child the right way.
Tips on How to Say NO to Your Child the Right Way
“No” is not a magic wand that will make your child obedient; not at all. When used, the word “no” should be applied carefully and with good argumentation. Be patient, find a way to explain what “no” means, and why something is forbidden. It will take some time, so stay calm and try to do your best without yelling and threats. Once they get it, things will get a little bit easier.
Imagine that your child gets quite fascinated with shiny cutlery. Because children are at such a young age, they get to know the world by touching and tasting things. You can be certain that they will take something in their hands and throw it to the ground. Whether it is a spoon or another utensil, all you need to do is to look them firmly in the eyes and calmly say, “No, put it down, please.”
To intensify the effect, you can switch the child’s attention to something else more interesting. You will have to go over this scheme quite a few times. Therefore, be as cool as a cucumber and explain to your baby the reasons it cannot play with something that could potentially hurt them, hurt someone else, or cause inside damage. Of course, this would have to be explained in simpler terms.
More often than not, parents think too much of what other people may think of them and their child. The best advice is not to care at all. Your family and your baby – that is what matters, but not the approval of others. If you are somewhere in public and a baby starts crying after hearing “No,” do not think of running and comforting it. As heartbreaking as their tears may look, you have to teach them. Also, always remember that children are not “convenient”; they cry and yell in public places; they are curious and may have some ants in their pants. They are emotional and unique. Therefore, cherish them and never try to squeeze them into the frames of social norms.
Thankfully, “No” has limits, and instead of turning a child’s life into a complete locked down situation, keep dangerous things out of kid’s reach.
Children are flighty in some ways because their attention switches easily. Today they may be interested in what is in the cupboard, but tomorrow they will forget about it altogether.
What do I do if the kid does not understand “No”?
- Make sure that all members of the family share the same point of view when it comes to banning something. Frequently, there is someone who gives in to the child’s charms and lets a little one do whatever it wants. Therefore, it is just a waste of your efforts. When getting different answers concerning one thing, children do not feel boundaries. They know who will be more apt to grant their request when they want to get something.
- Discuss some bans with your family or relatives. Decide what they can and cannot do. If you leave your child with a relative or a nanny, then make sure to inform them about things they cannot allow a child. These can be such things as “Don’t stand on a windowsill” or “Don’t touch an oven,” etc.
- “No” is convenient; therefore, not always rational. Try to explain to a child and yourself why does a baby cannot do this or that. If there is not a good reason to deny them something, for example, there no danger, then why not? For instance, if you say “no” to throwing toys everywhere, then it is not because it is dangerous, but because you really do not want to clean up the mess. This is not reasonable. A better decision would be to teach a child to clean the mess after playing with toys. This way is better for everyone.
- Be adamant when it comes to breaking some important rules. When you set a rule and tell a child not to do something, and it disobeys you, then you have to create some kind of punishment. Do not give in and turn a blind eye. One time turns into second, and it goes on and on. You can punish them by taking their favorite toys away for some time or by creating a “timeout” in the child’s room.
- For “No” to retain its strength and value, use it only in situations where it is necessary. When you apply it to random situations or use it too often, it becomes nothing but a sound.
- Some negative responses can be replaced by positive. For example, instead of saying, “You can’t eat a strawberry, you’re allergic,” say, “You’d better eat a banana, it is good for your health.” Sometimes a child can get sad, feeling that they are limited in something because of a sickness or an allergy. Try to soothe this moment.
- Do not provoke kids. If there is something they cannot eat, then do not eat it in front of them or do not buy this at all. If you do not want to buy new toys, then do not go to a toy store. Quite simple.
Remember, that time flies, and children grow. Some things that are forbidden now may be allowed in the future. The list of “No” items will change with time.
Do you like my tips on How to Say NO to Your Child the Right Way? Also, read my list of Positive Things to Say to Your Child Every Day
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