How Emotional Intelligence Affects Leadership Skills in Your Kids

Our children are the future of this planet. To shape them into intellectually and emotionally independent leaders and self-sufficient individuals, we must actively focus on their social-emotional learning activities. Leadership fosters confidence and teaches kids how to solve issues effectively, collaborate with others, and empathize. 

Social and Emotional skills are the key to effective leadership. It is the ability to be aware of, comprehend, and respond to emotions, manage stress, and be sensitive. These are all traits of a great leader. Let us see how emotional skills play a role in developing leadership skills in your kids.

What Exactly Is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence, often known as emotional quotient (EQ), is the capacity to read the moods and different emotions of others. It may entail building healthy relationships wisely and sensitively with people, communicating with them, and even being mindful of and healthily controlling emotions to make the best judgments in all situations. 

Emotional intelligence is critical for leaders to succeed. After all, who is more likely to succeed – a leader who yells at his team members when he’s stressed, or a leader who controls his frustration and evaluates the issue calmly?

The good news is that EQ may be learned and increased over time through various social-emotional learning activities.

Social-emotional learning activities help children develop the EQ abilities they will need to flourish not only in the classroom and at home, but also as an individual and in the community at large.

Essentially, the foundations of Emotional Intelligence are the same in children and adults. It is simply that many of us do not remember when we first learned the most fundamental of these abilities. EI encompasses a wide range of skills, from understanding and acknowledging how we feel to establishing and sustaining our connections with people around us.

EI abilities are learned at varying rates as a kid grows—there is no uniform, clear, linear model that summarizes how EQ should appear in kids. However, a few factors contribute to a child’s transition from raw sensory development to acquiring strong social-emotional skills. Among these includes, but are not limited to:

  • Increasing emotional sensitivity – of their own emotions and others.
  • Identifying or interpreting emotions — in addition to learning what a feeling is, kids will understand what facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, and other cues imply. They can ascribe these and eventually label them as “happy,” “angry,” or “sad.”
  • Defining emotions – in addition to labeling emotions, kids will learn how to apply emotional terminology to express how they feel.
  • Empathizing with others’ emotions – this will eventually extend to being concerned when others aren’t doing well or having compassion for animals.
  • Managing their own emotions – learning when it is appropriate to act or respond while they are feeling something.
  • Comprehending what influences emotions – in oneself and others.
  • Identifying emotion-behavior links — for example, “He punched the wall because he is angry.”

Benefits Of Higher Eq

  • Improved leadership abilities
  • Stronger relationships
  • Attain your objectives
  • Increased self-awareness


People frequently mistake EQ with IQ or intelligence quotient.

  • A high IQ indicates that the individual can readily learn and apply new abilities related to information processing and practical skills.
  • EQ, on the other hand, refers to an individual’s ability to comprehend what inspires both others and oneself.

People with high EQs communicate better, exhibit leadership qualities, and have better interactions with others around them.

Fundamentals Of Emotional Intelligence In Leadership

According to Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist who popularized emotional intelligence, there are five fundamentals to Emotional Intelligence in Leadership:

  • Self Awareness.
  • Self Regulation.
  • Motivation.
  • Empathy.
  • Social skills.

The better you handle each of these areas as a leader, the stronger your emotional intelligence.

Let us look at each factor in greater detail to help you understand the emotional intelligence skills necessary for effective leadership and help your kid grow as a leader.

Self Awareness

To bring out the best in others, you must first bring out the best in yourself, and that is where self-awareness comes in. Everything revolves around self-awareness.

It reflects your ability to perceive not just your skills and limitations but also the impact of your emotions on your own and your team’s performance.

We cannot fully comprehend who we are, why we do responsible decision-making, what we are best at, and where we fall short until we contemplate.

To attain your full potential, you must be comfortable with who you are and accept the good with the bad.

Those who have a good knowledge of who they are and what they want to strive on may constantly better themselves.

Tips To Enhance Self Awareness In Kids

Expressing Emotions

The use of “I” statements will assist the kid in expressing their sentiments. This is one of the most effective social emotional learning activities.

Help your kids in comprehending how their experiences impact their emotions. You do this by training them to use the following statement:

“I feel _____(emotion)______ when _____(cause of the feeling)_____.”

“I feel unhappy when I do not perform well in school,” for example. 

Your children will have a better grasp of what they can do to make them feel better if you identify the source of the overwhelming emotion.

Keeping A Journal

Journals can help you become more self-aware. Spending just a few minutes each day jotting down your emotions, your own feelings might help you achieve a better level of self-awareness. 

Teaching kids these skills helps them and your kid will reflect on their day and write about incidents that occurred or individuals they encountered that may not have been pleasant.

They will then proceed to select the best things or those that have been shown to help them improve in some way.

Check out this social skills worksheet (insert printable) that will help you immensely!

Be A Role Model

Our kid’s habits and actions, like everything else in parenting, begin with us!

We cannot expect our kids to accomplish something if we do not do it ourselves.

Our actions teach students far more than our words.

  • Use daily events to demonstrate to your kids how you manage difficult situations.
  • When you are experiencing emotions such as rage or disappointment, talk about them and what you intend to do to resolve them.
  • When the overwhelming emotions become overpowering, give yourself some time to settle down. It is pretty common for parents to tell their children, “I am becoming very angry right now, so I am leaving the room and returning when I am calm.”
  • Take some time for yourself and show your children that you are processing everything, meditating, or practicing mindfulness.

Self Regulation

Self-regulation (emotional regulation) refers to the capacity to control one’s emotions, particularly in difficult conditions, and to keep a good attitude in the face of adversity.

This entails regulating or channeling our disruptive emotions as well as responding to changing situations to stay on track.

A response is usually automatic. However, the more in tune with your emotional intelligence, the easier it is to shift from reaction to response.

It is necessary to pause, relax, gather yourself, and do whatever it takes to regulate your emotions—whether that is going for a walk or contacting a friend—so that you can respond to stress and hardship more effectively and purposefully when you carry such skills to manage emotions.

Tips To Teach Students Self Regulation

Recognize Goals

The majority of impulse control is just this: controlling a temptation to achieve the final goal.

For example, why don’t we eat a birthday cake that is on the table? Because it is our friend’s cake, and we do not want her to be upset when the candles are blown out:

“This is Danny’s birthday cake,” and so maintain a safe distance between you and the cake. After we sing “Happy Birthday!” he will blow out the candles.

He will be overjoyed! And then you will be delighted to get a whole slice of cake for yourself!”

The first stage is to help kids realize the larger purpose of the scenario while still allowing time and space for their impulses – not all impulses are harmful, but they must be controlled for the appropriate time and place.

Practice Being Calm 

The next time you find yourself in a difficult circumstance, pay close attention to how you react. Deep breathing techniques might help you relax in managing emotions.

Also, try writing out all of the terrible things you want to say, then ripping it up and throwing it away. It is preferable to express these feelings on paper rather than in front of others.

Furthermore, this allows you to assess your reactions to ensure that they are fair.

Build your child’s emotional awareness and management abilities.

Use calming down methods for toddlers, preschoolers, and school-age children, as well as for pre-teens and teenagers.

Practical Examples

  • Prepare for difficult situations when kids fail to behave effectively. For instance, ‘The store we are heading to has a lot of stuff that can break.’ It is fine to gaze but do not touch.’ As you enter the store, gently remind your kid. For instance, ‘Remember – just gazing, OK?’ 
  • Involve young children in problem-solving and conflict resolution. For instance, ‘I will be working all weekend, so I know it is going to be dull for you.’ Let’s find out how to make the most of your time.’
  • When your child demonstrates self-control and manages a difficult circumstance, praise them. For example, ‘You were excellent at waiting your turn,’ or ‘I appreciated the way you shared your favorite cookie with Tom when he asked.’
  • Try to be a role model for your child in terms of self-regulation. For example, ‘I want to keep gardening, but if I do not cook now, I will not be able to bring you to soccer on time.’ Alternatively, ‘Let me put that on the calendar, so I do not miss it.’


Identifying WHAT you want to achieve and WHY you want to do it contributes to motivation. Understanding the ‘why’ portion typically necessitates some self-reflection, which is where strong Emotional Intelligence plays a crucial role.

They form a healthy emotional attachment to the outcomes they desire from their work, using it to propel them ahead without becoming obsessed.

Motivated leaders set high standards for themselves and work consistently toward goals.

Leaders with strong Emotional Intelligence will inspire those around them to develop their motivations for working hard.

Tips To Boost Motivation In Kids

Value Optimism

Consider optimism to be a positive reaction to stress. Champions understand that optimism is more than merely thinking about good ideas.

It entails being able to see the advantages of a circumstance and applying that productive optimism to keep your commitment and success.

When you encounter a difficulty or even a failure, strive to discover at least one positive aspect of the circumstance.

It might be something minor, such as a new contact, or something more significant, such as a meaningful lesson learned.

But if you seek it, you will always find something nice.

Know Your Purpose

It is easy to lose sight of your mission and ultimate objective. Starting at the root causes, you see your purpose in a fresh light.

Also, make sure your goals are fresh and motivating. Determine where you stand and how driven you are to lead.

If you need to boost your drive to lead, appreciate how far you have come and how much you have accomplished.


While it is essential to comprehend and control your own emotions, you must also be able to read a room. Empathy and social awareness refer to your ability to perceive the feelings of others. Empathetic leaders can put themselves in the shoes of others.

They assist with the development of those on their team, confront those who are acting unjustly, provide constructive criticism, and listen to those who require it.

Empathy is practiced by leaders who excel in social-emotional learning activities. If you want to gain your team’s trust and honor, show them you care by being empathetic. When one possesses empathy, the door to kindness is wide open.

The feeling we have in reaction to pain inspires us to want to help.

The better we comprehend what inspires or disturbs someone, the more we can relate to them.

Tips To Inculcate Empathy In Kids

Acknowledge Emotions

If young children no matter are preschool and kindergarten students or middle school students or high school students are to respect other people’s viewpoints and exhibit empathy for them, they must hear from their parents that caring for others is a high priority, just as essential as their happiness. Even though most parents believe that raising loving children is a top concern, kids often do not get that message.

Take the time to consider things from the viewpoints of others. Instill in your child the necessity of truly listening to others, particularly those who appear unusual and whom they may not instantly comprehend.

Encourage them to regard the sentiments of those who are vulnerable, such as a kid who is having family problems or an outcast. Teach kids some basic alternatives for taking action, such as consoling a bullied friend.

Pick-Up On Non-Verbal Cues

When it comes to communication, how something is expressed may be just as significant as what is said. Perhaps you cross your arms, shuffle your feet back and forth, or bite your lower lip while listening to someone.

This body language communicates to people your true feelings about a situation, and the message you are sending is not good.

Aim to respond to these nonverbal clues as to an empathic leader. Address the underlying feelings. Learning to interpret body language is a significant benefit in a leadership role since it will allow you to better assess how someone feels. This provides you a chance to respond correctly.

Social Skills

Most of us have met a leader who we would characterize as a “people person” or having excellent social skills. The art of creating an emotional connection via communication is what social skills are all about. Leaders who excel in the emotional intelligence component of social skills are excellent communicators.

We must practice social-emotional skills with our kids every day.

Kids with strong social skills excel at crisis management and resolving issues gracefully. They are rarely content with leaving things as they are, but they do not sit back and expect others to do the job for them: they lead by example with their conduct.

When a decision has an impact on people’s lives, individuals with high Emotional Intelligence will demonstrate that they respect the needs, concerns, and hopes of those concerned.

Tips To Build Social-Emotional Skills In Kids

Support Their Hobbies

When a kid is doing something they are interested in, they will find it easier to enjoy others. Participating in a favorite hobby, playing an instrument they enjoy, or joining a society that interests them is the first step in developing social skills.

It also places a kid in a group of like-minded people with whom the child would most likely feel more at ease. While it is vital to be able to connect with others who share your interests, starting with other kids who share your interests is a fantastic method to acquire social skills more quickly.

Conflict Resolution

Whether it is a toy-related quarrel, a difficult math problem, or negative social pressure, children of ALL ages confront conflict and obstacles regularly. We cannot always be present to fix our children’s problems as parents.

It is our responsibility to educate our children on how to solve issues on their own. They will grow more self-assured, autonomous, and successful as a result.

You may avoid creating a toxic environment for your children by focusing on conflict leadership rather than conflict management. As a leader, you can influence people, and how you do so is an essential aspect of your talents.

Instead of abandoning or getting angry when confronted with a difficulty, children with problem-solving abilities regulate their emotions, think imaginatively, and persevere until they discover a solution. These qualities, of course, go hand in hand with developing social skills.

Effects Of Emotional Intelligence On Leaders

Emotionally intelligent leaders create secure environments in which people feel comfortable taking measured risks, suggesting ideas, and voicing their thoughts. An emotionally intelligent individual may harness emotions to propel the team ahead. 

Leaders are frequently responsible for implementing any required changes in the organization, and if they are aware of others’ potential emotional reactions to these changes, they may plan and prepare the most effective ways to implement them.

Should We Teach Kids Emotional Intelligence?

What is the harm? Everyone has various perspectives on the school curriculum, but to be honest, you are probably already teaching social-emotional skills.

How? By demonstrating and reinforcing certain skills and behaviors. Listening, acknowledging, and empathizing are just a few examples.

Even just addressing emotional subjects can help kids learn about their emotions and improve their social-emotional learning.

EI assists kids with understanding themselves and others, communicating with others, and dealing with negative feelings. It can help individuals build and sustain relationships at school and in their personal lives both now and later in life. 


All great leaders understand that their emotions have a lot of power, so they make it a point to learn how to recognize, comprehend, and control them, as well as educate others on how to do the same.

Giving children the chance to develop their empathy, social skills, and other abilities is one of the greatest ways to prepare them for life, from school friends to managing their moods when they are sad to assist them in discovering their optimal coping mechanisms.

All of these elements have a significant role in their overall social and emotional learning.

Read about Understanding Social-Emotional Intelligence and How to Strengthen This Skill in Your Child

Check out the 11 SEL Activities at Home to Raise Well Adjusted Kids and 14 Easy and Fun Summer Activities For Social-Emotional Learning


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