Got an Aggressive Kid? Here’s How to Calm Aggression in Children

Uncontrollable – a common description for most kids nowadays. At a very young age, all children do is sleep, eat, and cry. However, with time aggression in children is a common trait we see. These are the most difficult periods for a child’s behavior and their parents, which is a crucial development stage throughout life.

Handle Aggression in Children

Very often, parents notice that children stop listening to them and other family members. In other words, children become uncontrollable. What should you do to tackle behavioral issues in children?


Should you do everything your child demands so that you do not lose their affection?

Psychologists advise avoiding arguments with the “young aggressor.” Instead try talking to them, peacefully negotiate things. Do not forget that a little one is still learning and getting to know this world.

How to redirect the aggressive child’s energy and correct actions?

  • Do not slap a kid, because it will make a little one even angrier.
  • Thoroughly analyze a child’s behavior and find out the reason for its dissatisfaction.
  • After you find the “root of all evil,” talk to your child about it with patience and attention.
  • During the conversation, it is advisable to stroke the child’s back or massage its fingers.
  • It would help if you talked to your child about emotions and how to react to negative ones. (For instance, when a child wants to hit someone, just teach a little one to say, “I want to hit you” instead of actually hitting someone. In time, a kid will learn to talk about their emotions, and negative emotions will be suppressed more quickly).

How to Handle Aggression in Children

  • Using toys show a kid how bad and offensive his negative emotions and deeds look.
  • If the child exhibits aggression because of something the parent did, like slapping them, then the parent should apologize.
  • Apart from self-control, it is important to set ground rules so that a little one would feel free within these limits. In case the child crosses the line and breaks the rules, be sure to punish it. Remember that mother and father should agree on rules and stick to one answer because if mom says “yes,” and dad says “no,” then a child will be confused.
  • Do not use your authority as a lever saying, “I know better!” or “You do as I say!” If a child does not listen to you, then probably your authority has already been undermined. In this case, you will have to earn it again.

More Ideas to tackle aggression in children

  • Do not be afraid to refuse a kid. If a child does not know what “no” is, then it will consider that they are the cause of a negative response. This could damage their self-esteem, and they will give you the same response. Little disappointments are important for a child because it teaches understanding and gives the realization that there is no Genie in the bottle, and they cannot always get what they want whenever they want it.

aggressive child

  • Teach a child to provide arguments to their reasoning. “I hate you!” But why? Why does a child say these words? Does it really mean it? When parents explain to children the reason the child cannot do something, a little one will adopt this manner of communication, and it will become a good habit.

Always remember that children mimic their parents; therefore, if a child copied its parent’s negative qualities, then it is unreasonable to blame a child. If a mother is mad at a father, then why can a child not be mad, too?

So the answer to how to deal with aggression in children often lies with us. For this reason, admit and acknowledge your downfalls and rage, show that you find them to be wrong.

Aggressive behavior in children is a common thing. When a child is on the way to becoming a personality, a kid’s character depends on the mother’s mood and the mood in the family. Because children learn to interact with the world through a parent’s manner of presenting the knowledge to a little one, parents have to pay attention to themselves first of all.

Because children copy their parents, adults must be careful with what they say and how they act during a fight. Children see and hear everything. They hear your squabbles even when they are watching cartoons. Kids listen to you with or without knowing anything about the situation.

Mother talking to crying child

For the process of upbringing to be successful, remember to talk to your children, adequately react to a child’s tantrums, and to be a role model for a kid. Kiss them, hug them, tell them how much you love them, and play with them so that a game can teach kids something and stay in their memory.

Look for compromises, talk, give the child a choice, and negotiate. Remember always to look the child in the eye, so that it feels equal and as important as you are. Therefore, make sure your eyes are on the same level, and believe me, this method will help them become more confident and sociable in the future and will eventually tame the aggressive behavior in your child.


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